Countdown to Kick Out
Many of the 80 million or so Americans who voted for the Other Guy in November have found themselves with a severe case of “Trump Fatigue”. And a lot of us wonder if, indeed, there’s a remedy — beyond, of course, waiting for the inevitable to occur (fingers crossed!) at Noon on January 20, 2021.
Ella Numera Una passed along this little life hack that might help you get through the next 19 days. She, of course, picked it up from the Interwebs. I’ve been participating, and can truthfully say this tiny ritual not only does the trick, but it’s quite delish, too.
- Purchase a 2020 Advent Calendar — the one with 24 little doors that one opens each day to reveal a sweet piece of chocolate. I’m told CVS, Walgreen’s and Walmart have them at steep discounts. I, of course, picked mine up for $7 from my bestie, Jeff Bezos.
- This game was supposed to start on Monday, December 28. Obvi, if you want to participate, you need to back-date your actions. So hurry up and open Doors 1–5 and consume the chocolate.
- Someone with a lot of time on their hands (or maybe Bezos, who probably has tons of 2020 Advent Calendars in his warehouses around the world) figured out it was exactly 24 days from Monday, December 28, 2020 til Joe Biden’s inauguration on January 20, 2021.
- Since there are 24 doors (one for each day) in an Advent Calendar, you’ve now got an automatic “Countdown to Kick Out” — as in removing Orange Foolius from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW. Genius!
- Open a door and consume a piece of chocolate from your Advent Calendar every day, wrapping up your countdown on January 20. Depending on your view of the world, think lovely thoughts about Rumpy’s deteriorating state of mind. Or even say a little prayer for our beleaguered nation, if the spirit moves you.
- To get the most out of your countdown, make sure you send some negative vibes in the direction of the current occupant of the White House each time you open a door and consume a piece of chocolate. Sorta like a voodoo doll, but maybe not as creepy?
- Ignore the bleating of the wing nuts on the Interwebs! They’re not going to steal the election for the Orange Oaf. In fact, their actions, to paraphrase Shakespeare, signify nothing.
- For those who didn’t read “Macbeth” in high school, you should. All manner of Shakespeare’s works model the downfall of DJT, but “Macbeth” pretty much nails it. Trust me — I taught high school English for 23 years.
- For those of you who’d like the entire quote from Macbeth’s “Tomorrow” speech, here it is: “Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.”
- You have your assignment. Now get to it. And enjoy 2021!